as it is.....

My latest escapades

2006-10-10T15:17:00.000-07:00

I'm updating my blog due to request from a friend.

UPDATED.

So, there you go...........heh.

Dreams

2006-03-26T04:47:00.000-08:00

There are 2 types of dreamers. One who remembers his/her dreams vividly and another who is unaware of his/her brain activities as soon as they wake up. I belong to the latter category. But lately, I've been having a few weird dreams. Now don't get me wrong. I DO dream a lot. It's just that they are mostly insignificant and most of the time I can never remember what I dream about and no matter how hard I try to commit those dreams to memory, they usually disappear by mid day and I would have no absolute inkling to what happened when I was in dreamland.

But for the past week, I've had a few dreams which I could surprisingly remember. The images were clear and filled with a mirage of emotions so strong that when I woke up from slumber I could still feel the remnants of whichever instense feelings I was having during my sleep. Some of which I've never felt before and there are a few I keep hidden most of the time.

The first dream was about me going for dinner with a primary school mate who has migrated to God-knows-where during Standard Six. In my dream, she look exactly the same, except only perhaps in an adult version. I even remembered her full name..... which of course by itself an amazing thing cos I can't even remember most of my secondary or university mates' names. At the dinner we met up with my ex and her girlfriend. Now this is where the puzzling part comes in. I was spiteful and acted childishly. You know...... the kiddies trick we used to play when we meet a friend and offer our hand for a shake, and as the friend lift up her hand to hold our extended palm we purposely snuff her by pulling our hands away and pretending to do something else? Yeah I did exactly that to my ex's girlfriend. And throughout the whole dinner I wasn't exactly very courteous and friendly to her either. To those experts who say that dreams are manifestation of our unconscious state of mind....I'll say bullshit. First off, I've gotten over my ex already and what she does or who she goes out with does not matter to me anymore. Second, our parting had nothing to do with a third party in fact the break up was totally my fault. Lastly, I am NOT so childish. It's beneath my dignity to even consider acting in such a bitchy manner. One thing I had to comment though was my ex's girlfriend in my dream was a femme. Well I've never seen her current girlfriend before but I'm sure she's definitely not a femme. An andro or a butch maybe. As strong and independant as she may be, I still think that a butch suits her best.

Dream number two was about my work in my current company. I just had my confirmation last month after six months of probation period. In my dream, my current boss did not confirm me and wanted to review my work for another month and this triggered an avalanche of intense feeling. I felt extremely frustrated, angry and shortchanged cos I've worked very hard those six months and felt that my performance was good enough to be confirmed. My pride was shattered and I vowed to resign at the end of the week. Told all my colleagues and workers of my resignation. I don't know what happened next cos my alarm rang at that very moment and I ended up with a foul mood that day. I was practically pissed with everybody especially the management and it took some effort to mask those anger. I know it was only a dream but those emotions were very real and intense and spilled over when I woke up.

Last dream happened two days ago. Can't really recall what it was all about but I could remember bits and pieces. It was about my ex......again. This time there were only both of us. We were talking on the phone and I was exceptionally cruel and malicious. I can't remember what I've said but all I know is that it was very mean and hurtful and she was quiet after that. Then the darn alarm rang again. Stupid alarm.

In the first and final dreams, I became a totally different person and did things I'd never ever think of doing. It's like a jekyl-and-hyde thingy and the me in my dreams are exactly the type of people that I detest. Though the relationship was over and yes like I said earlier I've gotten over it, she had been a part of my life for a certain period of time and she understood me well. To hurt her would be the last thing I'd ever do.

Addiction

2006-02-19T21:00:00.000-08:00

Damn.

I'm hopelessly addicted to sudoku right now.

Damn.

Dear God

2006-01-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

Please grant me :

the courage to change the things I can

the serenity to accept the things I can't change

and the wisdom to know the difference.

New year resolutions

2006-01-05T20:35:00.000-08:00

All resolutions must be fulfilled. Please cross item when done.

1. Start aerobics class again. Go ahead go tone up those small little muscles again.

2. Quit worrying yourself over :
i) Things that are not happening cos well…….they are just not happening no matter how you worry.
ii) Things that had happened cos it’s too late to run back the clock so just let the battle scars be a reminder for us to be wiser.
iii) Things which may happen in future cos heck, we’re not GOD…..we don’t even know if we’d live to see tomorrow. So enjoy the present and don’t worry too much over things which are uncertain and beyond control.

3. Smoke less. Smoking affects your sexual life. So there…….I think this point is enough for you to sit up and take notice.

4. Don’t be afraid to take the first step to achieving you dreams. I don’t mean to say that you should enroll immediately…..just gradually prepare yourself for the journey and plunge in when you’re ready. Don’t just give up without a fight. You are meant for better things. I totally believe in that.

5. Learn to explore your emotions. Instead of bottling them up, learn to share your ups and down, your happiness or sadness and most importantly your feelings with people you care about. Don’t build barriers around. I know sometimes it’s difficult to open up cos by doing so we’ll expose our vulnerabilities thus making it easier for us to get hurt. But by shutting or withholding ourselves, we end up hurting our loved ones more.

6. Keeping in touch doesn’t mean waiting for other people to make the first move. Give a call to an old friend once a while. Put a smile on their faces, let them know you still care and think about them.

7. Women with curves are attractive. The anorexic, skeletal Kate Moss-look is so out of trend already. So don’t fret too much about your chicken legs. And don’t you dare to go bulimic on me ok!

8. Put aside a portion of your pay in savings. You’d feel more comfortable and confident if there are some healthy balance in your savings account.

9. Learn to sleep on a pillow. Pillows are invented as a support for our necks and shoulders during our 8-hour sleep to prevent achings or sprained neck muscle. You’re not exactly a spring chicken anymore, you know.

10. Get the writer of this blog a gift every month as a token of appreciation. You’re welcome.

Xmas trip - Part 2

2006-01-04T15:11:00.000-08:00

We checked out around 11am and started our journey to Negeri Sembilan for the ostrich farm. Found it without much hassle and bought a small container of dried seeds for feeding at the entrance. Let me tell you one fact. Ostrichs are HUGE! Especially when they move and glide towards you it's like being in a 3-D cinema...........it's rather disconcerting too when it stretches its long neck at you with a huge opened beak. But other visitors didn't seem the least perturbed. Oh well, I guess I'm a cowrad after all. Heh. The farm offers ostrich rides but it's only for people weighing 75kg and below. I tried persuading the princess to try the ride out but she flatly refused. I think she must have been overweight.

After being directed a few times by samatarians, we finally arrived at the Baba House. It was strategically located behind Jonker Street and within walking distance to popular tourist spots such as the A Famosa, St. Paul Church, etc. Baba House is a quaint charming place. I kinda liked the way they perserve the original peranakan structure, deco and heritage within the building with minimal renovation.

We dropped our bags at the reception and took a trishaw to A Famosa. Well, it was the first trip to Malacca for the princess so she was probably eager to visit the famed A Famosa, much touted as a must visit destination in vacation brochures. Upon alighting from the trishaw, she stared at the monument for a good minute and exclaimed, " You mean to bring me all the way here just to see this rock??" Man, that was classic! Initially I was thinking of showing her the St. Paul Church at the top of the hill but quickly squashed the idea. Imagine if I were to drag her up the steep stairs just to present to her another piece of rock.......I don't think I'd still be alive today writing this blog. She'd probably skin me alive before throwing me down the hill.

We didn't spend much time there cos I've been there a couple of times and the princess wasn't interested in old buildings so we decided to return to hotel to freshen up. The usual mode of transport for visitors and tourist alike are the trishaws. In Malacca, the trishaws are heavily decorated and adorned with colourful flowers and signages and they exude a certain carnival-like vibrance to the atmosphere. Of all the trishaws, my friend, playing the role of a princess to the max, chose the brightest, loudest, most colourful and decorated trishaw for the return journey. So there I was, squirming in my seat everytime the rider blasted his horn and everybody turned, stared and giggled at us. Nearly died of embarrassment. She seemed to be enjoying the attention though. Sigh....that's what you get when you have an exhibitionist as a travelling companion.

To be continued.....

2006

2006-01-02T15:16:00.000-08:00

What do you get when you walk into a vacant house?...emptiness

You find a wooden box. It's light and doesn't rattle when you shake it. It's probably......empty

For an optimist, the glass is half full but for a pessimist, the glass is half....empty

If a person never keeps his words, his promises are....empty

What do you call a land which is devoid of vegetation, contruction or human dwelling?...empty

Yeah......that's right. EMPTY.

Welcome to 2006.

Obligatory year end post

2005-12-30T11:35:00.000-08:00

Today marks the last day of 2005 as I type. It’s the time of the year again when practically everyone starts reflecting about their past accomplishment or failure and it’s the time of the year too when resolutions are renewed and goals are set.

Time buzzed by in such a dizzifying speed that I’m still spinning and trying to get my bearings right at this time of writing. Have to admit I can’t recall much of the things that had happened in my life in the past 12 months. Been wondering if this is a normal occurrence for other people too or is it actually my subconscious effort in suppressing difficult/unhappy memories? Having said that, perhaps it would be easier to get in touch with my feelings based on a Q & A model.

So, do I have any regrets? Plenty.

Do I have any disappointment? Plenty.

Do I have any dissatisfaction? Plenty.

Do I have any anger? Plenty.

Do I have any heartaches? Plenty.

Do I have any accomplishment I would be proud of? No.

Am I a step closer to achieving my dreams? No.

Am I happy and content? No.

Have I found what I’ve been looking for? No.

Pathetic eh? Wonder what’s in store for me the coming 12 months. Feeling rather depressed now. I just wanna curl up with the blanket over my head.

Have a happy and fufilling new year folks!

Xmas trip - part 1

2005-12-27T12:31:00.000-08:00

Just had the most relaxing and deep sleep. Was in such a comatose state that I didn’t hear 8 missed calls from my hand phone and house phone. Wasn’t even aware when my mom came in to do some tidying and ironing.

Well, can’t blame me cos I’ve just came back from a 3-days christmas trip and punched in for a night shift work directly after. It was a real torture and I was struggling to pry my eyes open and keep my head from bobbing down. When I sit, I’d be overcome by drowsiness and likewise when I walk, it was accompanied by a vague floating sensation. Thank God the shift was over!

We left for KL on christmas eve. That’s mistake number 1. Never plan vacations on major public festivals. Everywhere will be jammed packed with people, things cost a bomb, food’s gonna kill or maim your taste buds and worse, you have to endure crying annoying creatures otherwise known as kids. Minus those grouses, the trip was fun and hilarious.

We arrived in KL about noon and since our room wasn’t ready, we dropped in at Midvalley. Trying to grab a bite there was like being in a relief camp when food was being distributed. Every eatery was packed full with people and the queues were long. In the end, we settled for KFC cos it was the easiest and fastest way to fill our stomachs. And since I was the one born with a greater natural ability of being thick-skinned, I was assigned to getting a seat by standing close to the table and staring down at the patrons so that they’ll feel embarrassed and finished their food faster. Oh well, what can I say…. I was very good with my assignment. Hah.

Next came the endless shopping. So there I was, huffing and puffing and trying to keep up with the pace while the princess zig-zagged into the shops with ease. Femmes! Never will I understand their enthusiasm, energy and need to go into every store for a single purchase of a blouse/skirt/jeans. I was really hoping though that she’d pop into a lingerie shop but……nah….tough luck. Didn’t get to see any sexy lingerie being modelled. Or any exposed flesh. Sigh.

Returned to the hotel for refreshment since we made a booking for dinner at TGIF. That was mistake number 2. Never go to fancy restaurants on major public festivals. We were advised to make reservation for 9pm as the house was packed till 8.30 so we duly put our names for 9pm dinner. But when we reached there, there was a mix-up at the reservation and we were asked to wait for tables. It was raining, late and I was hungry. Made some noises and they finally relented and gave us a table by the window. The main course consist of baked potato topped with cheese, boiled broccoli, fried shrimps and grilled chicken. It looks appetizing but as the saying goes ……. Never judge a book by its covers…..likewise for food. Damn nearly broke my knife cutting the chicken. Yes it was THAT hard. Just imagine two people trying to saw a piece of chicken gently so that we don’t shake the table or send it flying off. It’s a good thing we’re both cool about it. Rather than being uptight and let the food spoil the mood, we ended up having a whale of time laughing and at the same time avoid choking on plastic. I has a sneaking suspicion that we were the only ones served with the plastic chicken cos others seemed to be enjoying their food. Bah! That’s what you get for being offensive with people who serve you food. And for the finale…….that piece of plastic cost RM175.

UPDATE :The princess reminded me of a funny incident in KL which I've forgotten to include in. Well, after our unforgettable dinner at TGIF, we decided to have a drink so we settled for an obscure lonely pub in Jalan Alor to escape the crowd.Drank and talked cock till past midnight when we realised that we were one of the two tables left. We paid the bill and walked down the road to catch a cab. The first cab we stopped asked for $10 to return to hotel. I was rather indignant cos the short distance from Jalan Alor to the hotel would probably cost less than $5 by meter so I proudly refused and cooly waved the taxi off. Within minutes, another cab cruised by but when he stopprd, asked for $20. And the third cab had the cheek to ask for $30 for a 3km journey. What the hell! I'm a local godammit! Do I look like a sucker to you?? There's no way I'm gonna let myself be fleeced like that, christmas or no christmas! It got us wondering if the next cab would charge us $40 or not. It turned out the guy was ok. When he asked for $15, we hopped into the cab as fast as we could. At that point of time, all ego and principles flying out of the window. Well, it's christmas after all. Bah! When you can't beat the crowd, join the crowd.

Next…..Melacca. Stay tuned.

Money matters

2005-12-19T13:51:00.000-08:00

Has money become so important in one's life that it over-rides other factors when it comes to choosing one's life partner? Is being financially stable or obscenely wealthy a prerequisite in a relationship? Is the society turning into such a materialistic state that our values as a human being are determined by the amount of money we make or the car we drive or the property we own or even perhaps the clothes we wear?

When faced with a forked road, which path should we take? The clear, paved track leading straight ahead or the unknown trail overgrown with bushes? The first path will allow us the privilege of a scenic leisure walk with a predetermined destination while the latter only allows us a fleeting glimpse of what lies ahead. In order to tame it we need to hack our way through and suffer cuts and bruises along the way. The analogy might not be very accurate here. I mean, if given a choice between two suitors, one with qualification and earning comfortably or another who is still struggling financially, who scores higher in attraction factor? No doubt most will choose the former. Even though she loves the poor more. It's a tug-of-war between the heart and the purse. The purse usually wins.

Ah well, it doesn't make sense the things I write. It's fun writing at 6:45am when you're dead tired and sleepy and you haven't slept a wink since last night and your thoughts are jumbled and incoherent and you're waiting and willing for the clock to strike 7 so that you can end your shift and climb onto the bed.

I.SO.WANNA.SLEEP.NOW.

None

2005-12-05T01:55:00.000-08:00

Heya ole buddy, it's been a long time, hasn't it? I haven't been coming here for a long time I know........well there weren't any major changes in my life to start with. It's not like I've suddenly struck lottery and I'm typing this whilst on my flight to Bahamas, or I've suddenly turned into a social butterfly with endless social gatherings to attend to so I have thousand things to write of my escapades. Heck I don't even have a promotion to brag about! The mind is blank when I write, and the topics tend to steer towards either recollection of the past or a subject for me to whine about. When there's nothing good to talk about, it's best not to open one's mouth.

That's why I avoid coming here.

That's why I avoid writing.

That's why I avoid contemplating about the past.

I don't need this site to be turned into an ugly blog dragged down by pessimism or be filled with nonsensical, vicious rantings. And I need to remind myself to let bygones be bygones and be firm to look ahead instead of keep turning my head to have a longing peep behind. It's no use hanging on to memories.

Ramblings of a jobless nut

2005-08-04T00:36:00.000-07:00

Life's a bliss lately. Get to sleep late, hang around and basically vegetate in front of tv without a care to anything. I'm free to run my errands, free to go wherever I want, nobody to breathe down my neck and no deadline to meet....what more can I ask for? But I know my piece of heaven I'm having now is shortlived and soon I'll need to return to the daily grind. Sigh.....time has a way of sneaking at you real fast when u're having a good time. Makes me afraid of even blinking my eyes and losing a second of the elusive freedom.

I'll be starting work on 15th and gotta admit I'm feeling rather apprehensive at the prospect of the new job. My primary job function is to supervise the production floor. The problem is I've always been a reluctant team player and I feel most at ease when I work alone and have no real need to deal with colleagues or people in general. This time there would be headache inducing 100++ workers to handle, each with different level of discipline, maturity and personality. And the worse thing is they are all locals so indiscipline and absentisms are usually the main problems faced. As the days draw nearer and realisation sinks in, I'm beginning to doubt if I'd be able to handle my new job. You see, I'm not a leader-material, far from being a disciplined worker myself, a cannot-be-saved procrastinator with a devil may care attitude and heck I even finished my assignments in a slip shod manner! So how on earth am I gonna pull my act up and lead these 100+ people? And oh....my human-management skill sucks too. Did I just jumped into the frying pan?

Had a long conversation with my boss from the scrap metal company. Felt really sorry for turning down his offer but he gentlemanly (is there such word?) accepted but before lecturing me for 45 minutes with the company's impressive prospect and future plan of public listing. Gotta admit if I join this company I would have learnt a lot from him. He is one of the most workaholic, driven and results-orientated person I've ever come across and he expects 110% from all his employees. That is something I can't give. However much I believe in working towards a goal or monetary reward, I won't sacrifice the time for myself, family and friends. Maybe if I was given the same opportunity when I was 25, there won't be any hesitation grabbing this golden chance. I'd jump at any opportunity to learn about the trading and investment world.........but too bad, fast forward 6 years, now I don't have the drive and commitment anymore. Most importantly, I don't have the guts anymore. Since young I've always done things my way and had it easy thus it somehow gave me a false sense of invincibility. Thought I could do it all and nothing can bring me down. Well I was wrong. Fell hard. It took me some painstaking effort to finally climb back. And I do not ever wish to fall ever again. So I chickened out on him.

Am I turning into a unaspiring, dull and boring worker I used to detest so much? Am afraid I am. I like myself more at 25.

Phone Conversation

2005-05-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

Here’s an excerpt from a phone conversation between my ex and I not long ago.

Ex : *yak yak yak*

Me : *chat chat chat*

Ex : hey u remember Selena?

Me : who?

Ex : Selena lar……we went with her to Penang once and we stayed at her
place wan……remember or not?

Me : err…..did we?

Ex : geez…..don’t tell me u forgot! She brought us to Batu Kawan for seafood and later we went clubbing with her friends….can remember or not?

Me : oh ya……there was this cousin of hers who died of AIDS later rite?

Ex : ur head lah…….it’s her friend’s cousin. So do u remember her now?

Me : *gulp* err…..yeah…….of course

Ex : I don’t believe u………ok describe how she looks like.

Me : *pause* err…….she’s about ur age……she looks average lar, not too bad but not too pretty either.

Ex : she has long or short hair? Is she fat or thin? Dark or fair?

Me : *longer pause* err……her hair ar…..average lor….not to long or too short, her size also average lar…….and she’s not as dark as me, I think.

Ex : hahaha idiot! I know u’re bullshitting….u actually can’t remember her at all, rite?

Me : hehe……so what about her?

Ex : well she’s *yak yak yak* and lately she’s *gossip gossip gossip*

Me : oooohh really? She did THAT?

Ex : yeah that’s what I heard…….and oh btw, Ah Kong’s getting married this year

Me : who?

Ex : sigh………..

I think Ex gave up on me. Heh.

What Goes Up Never Comes Down

2005-05-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

I was pretty pissed when I heard about the petrol and diesel hike last night. So w.e.f 12.00am 05/05/05 the prices of petrol and diesel would be :

RON97 – RM1.52/litre
RON92 – RM1.48/litre
Diesel - RM1.08/litre

The price increase was only announced in the 8pm news and I personally think it was a darn sneaky trick to be pulled on the rakyat. The price hike was announced AFTER the hike for public transportation and of course, AFTER the cabinet approved the 10% pay raise for all cabinet ministers. They must have realized that if they hike up the petrol/diesel first and request for the 10% raise later, there would be an onslaught of backlash and protest from people. So what did the government do? They quietly dropped the bomb onto the unsuspecting public at the last minute, resulting in a chaotic situation where most petrol stations are jammed with people queuing to top up their tanks before midnight.

KUALA LUMPUR, May 4 (Bernama) -- The Cabinet decided Wednesday that the retail price of diesel will be raised by 20 sen per litre effective Thursday and that of petrol by 10 sen per litre.
The Prime Minister's Office, in a statement, said the Cabinet made the decision to stem the increase in the payment of subsidies.Despite the increase, the price of petrol in Malaysia would still be the cheapest in Asean, except Brunei, while for diesel, it would be the lowest except when compared with Indonesia and Brunei.In 2004, the government had subsidised RM4.8 billion worth of petroleum products.If prices were not raised this year, the government would have to bear a subsidy payment of RM8.96 billion and it would have to forego RM7.85 billion in terms of tax exemption.This means the government would have incurred a loss of RM16.8 billion.With the new prices, the government would only need to pay RM6.7 billion in subsidies, saving RM2.2 billion a year in the process.

Well I understand if the government needs to reduce petrol subsidies in order to maintain afloat the national coffer. It’s alright by me too if the money saved is used to improve public transportation, increase facilities, eradicate poverty or as scholarship awards for needy students. But what worries me is that some unscrupulous greedy arseholes from our beloved government will use it to bail out their cronies’ companies or build more grand bungalows for their Exco members or even finance their oversea trips to see some belly-dancing chicks. Call me a pessimist if you wish but I’ve got a sinking feeling it’s for the latter.

A Walk Down The Memory Lane

2005-05-03T23:23:00.000-07:00

Damn it’s been ages since I last wrote. Thought of quoting the save, oft-repeated excuse of being busy, tied up with work, blah blah…………nah I’ll be honest this time. I’m just plain lazy! Besides, didn’t have much to write anyway. Nothing exciting or earth-shattering worth commenting about and I guess my brain’s kinda fused to even string a sentence properly. Well I hold my non-existence social life and my ever suffocating work schedule responsible for all inactivities in the blog and the retardation of my brain. And while at it, I hold them responsible too for the diesel shortage, petrol/toll hike, crime rise, environmental degradation, world suffering etc. Gotta admit after some time, slogging for a 12-hours 7-days routine, boring job does wear you down. Oh God I so love my job right now.

I was browsing through old photo albums last night. Out of the mountainous heaps of albums……taddaaa…..I finally found one which had my pictures in it. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like my pictures to be taken. Fyi, I did take lots and lots of pics, especially when I was studying or during outings, it’s just that I’m hopelessly absent-minded and careless with my stuff and I always misplaced or lost them as I went along.

The album contained some photos while I was studying in uni and there were these few pictures of me and my ex taken…..erm….probably 7-8 years ago. I was with her whole family on a road trip to some place and the weird thing is……I don’t have the slightest recollection of the trip. It has pictures of me, my ex and her siblings against the background of a huge padi field, then there was a photo taken with the whole set of family (with parents et al) sitting on a boulder at a waterfall and there were a couple of pictures of us on a boat ride to Pangkor Island if I’m not mistaken. We must have traveled in 2 cars cos there were 8 of us in total and I must have been the designated driver then. I believe we departed from Seremban cos my ex’s family stayed there so the journey could easily consumed 6-7 hours inclusive of stop-overs. But I really can’t recall the journey, the places we stopped or where we stayed…..which brings me to the question : since my memory is definitely unreliable, does losing the pictures I’ve taken wipe off the reminiscence of the past? Sigh….I think it does.

Advertisement and me

2005-03-03T17:26:00.000-08:00

Hahaha! Was clearing out excess junk from my MS Outlook when I came across the personals' advertisement my friend and I put up last year in one of the mailing list. Maybe we were drunk or maybe we were high with viral fever that fateful day we decided to.....ahem....highlight all our fine attributes for the world to appreciate. Damn we were vain! This was the original version before it was edited :

Hi! I'm xxx frm Penang, xx yo n currently working n studying graphic designing part time. I'm tall n good looking n ppl tell me I look like F4. but no lar...i dun think I really look like F4. when I turn left I think I look like Aaron Kwok, turn right I'm a bit like Brad Pitt, frm behind ppl think I'm Louis Koo Tien Lok, n if u meet me face-to-face I look like Leslie Cheung........sakit perut wan to berak dat time!!

I'm also very romantic person cos I like to give present to my gf n praise them. For example last time when I was going out with my ex-gf I sing her a song n told her dat she look beautiful with her face round like a 50 sen coin, her eyes so big like a lalat, her hair so curly like maggie mee perasa tomyam, her breast so small like an airport."

hi! I'm yyy frm Ipoh, yy yo n currently working. Like my friend xxx, I also have superstar looks. If I stand in front of mirror, I look exactly like "tai fan shue". When I turn right n turn left, also like "tai fan shue". But frm behind ppl think I'm Doraemon n ask for my autograph. I'm a very sexy person cos my vital statistic is 34-22-34 ( if I dun eat for 300 days). I'm also as romantic as xxx and I like to bring my partner to beautiful places with mountains n waterfall. I will sing tamil song to her, roll down the mountain n dance around the coconut trees."

Please contact xxx at xxx@yahoo.com.sg or yyy at yyy@yahoo.com if u're interested. And for the upcoming Christmas festivals, we're throwing in a promotion "BUY 1 FREE 1" while stocks last. Thank you n hv a nice day.

Now should I post this ad in fridae.com?

Sepet

2005-03-03T04:01:00.000-08:00

Went to see Sepet the other day. As usual, I was in my dense mode and made booking for 6.40pm show, not realizing that I needed to stay back in the office until 5.30pm and the journey from my working place to the cinema takes 45 mins……..and as luck had it, it poured cats and dogs and the whole of National Geographic animals that evening. I had no choice but to abandon my initial plan of treating myself to a luxurious bath and a good scrubbing before the movie. So there I was, queuing up to collect my ticket trying to look elegant and pretend that my messy attire….the dusty boots, paint splattered pants and grease stained shirt were the latest fashion statement. Damn should have dyed my hair purple and added multiple piercings and tattoos for the complete look.

I was the first to plonk into the seat……it was a middle one, three rows from behind. Perfect. There were only 15 people watching this movie, two groups of Malay youths, a trio of Chinese aunties (middle-aged, probably teachers. But then again, every auntie in Ipoh looks like a teacher) and a team of Chinese mother and son. Was pretty surprised by the lukewarm response here cos Sepet received rave reviews and was showing to full house capacity in KL. Before the start of the show, I heard the crackling of plastic bags and one of the auntie musketeers whispered, “Eh u want some kuih or not?” Gosh! Are they having a picnic in here? Nevertheless I was pretty tickled by their antics.

Overall it was a good movie. Laughed at most parts, and of course cried at some scenes. I admit. I’m a total wuss when it comes to tearjearking movies. Both the leading actors performed superbly, considering that these are their debut roles. Sharifah Amani was brilliant as Orked, portraying a feisty spunky lass who is not afraid to stand up against the racist and bigoted views of her friends. I wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend like her. And oh, forgot to mention she’s cute too. Ng Choo Seong’s acting however was a bit stilted, but at least he’s still better than Keanu Reeves. Unlike local Malay movies which had to rely on lame recycled jokes or slapstick comedy, the dialogues were refreshingly witty and sarcastic with most of them conversed in a rojak mixed of Hokkien, Cantonese, English and Malay.

However Sepet tends to be too cliché and utopian……for instance Orked’s parents are too good to be true. I mean which Asian parents are supportive of their daughter’s choice of boyfriend at the tender age of 16? And which Asian parents are willing to overlook the fact that their daughter’s boyfriend peddles pirated vcd and made a local gangster’s sister pregnant? Don’t know about others but mine will blast me off to the end of the world if such thing happened at 16.

Other than that, Yasmin Ahmad did a great job. Tabik.

Once Upon A Time

2005-02-17T11:30:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a beautiful groovy princess. Groovy cos the Princess is different from the princesses portrayed in our nursery books. The Princess in this fable dyes her hair in multi colour hues, is forever on a diet, is commitment phobic and goes for aerobics 24/7......lord knows how she does her aerobics, she's supposed to be in an enchanted kingdom in ancient time and the only music you'll hear comes from the chirping of birds or synchronised farts from some beer bellied old men. So if any one of you guys ever wondered how this silly craze started where clueless women unabandonly jump, twist and flail their arms about in the name of exercising, well now you know who to point the finger to, right? But I digress............

Anyway, back to the story.........despite all her eccentricities, the Princess is well loved by all her people and she is blessed with a sweet, loyal, kind, friendly, adorable, gentle, compassionate, tender-hearted pal. And for the sake of anonymity, the said friend shall only be known as........ahem.........the Cutie.

One day, the Princess and her sidekick, the Cutie were as usual hanging out in the forest. The Cutie was burying her nose in a book titled "1001 Kamasutra Positions" while the Princess was engrossed in her furtile search for frogs. Well you see.........someone has been telling the Princess that if she kisses a frog, it will turn into a handsome prince of her dreams. But frankly speaking, after more than 100 frogs being involuntarily smooched and molested by her, still no prince in sight. And the Cutie thinks that the Princess has started to look suspiciously similar the pond dwelling species after too many kissings.

Suddenly a bunch of rowdy vicious parang-wielding bandits appeared from nowhere shouting and brandishing their weapon at the Princess. They have planned to kidnap the Princess and demand for a ransom of a second-hand Kancil from the King. Heh! Of all people in the kingdom they chose the Princess to mess with. Those stupid goons don't know how to write the word D-I-E. Surrounded and trapped, the Princess shot a piercing glare to one of the guys and he dropped dead in an instant. The Cutie who was hiding underneath the Princess' skirt all this while, shouted "Hey You idiots fuck off! You'll be a deadshit if she's angry". No sooner as she said this, there was a loud ripping sound. All heads turned...........OMG! The Princess has turned into a green giant incredible hulk! Her eyes were penetrating red, the clothes were ripped and torn with with mucles bulging on her arms and legs. Seeing this, the bandits dropped everything and ran helter-skelter for their lives.

So once again, the great Princess saves the day! Now that her anger sizzled down, the Princess returned to her normal beautiful sexy 34-19-34 figure........but of course although her clothes were still torn into bits but somehow it just managed to cover the strategic areas. To those of you who are curious.........no the Cutie does not know about the Princess' cup size or whether she dyes her pubes according to the colour of her hair. The Cutie has not seen anything. Damn!

The end.

Please note that the above fairy tale is written based on a figment of the writer's imagination. Any close resemblance of character to a person living is purely coincidental.........really.

A Masterpiece

2005-02-15T14:30:00.000-08:00

I came across this forumer who goes by the registered name of Sir Arkane in a public forum quite a while back. I admire him for his excellent command of language and flair for writing. But I've never exchanged words with him cos I'm a lurker and I don't participate in the discussions, though there were many times I was tempted to when some dimwit threw some callous or sexist remarks and I felt so incensed by their ignorance. This happened to Sir Arkane once, and he was embroiled in a spat with an irritating forumer. The outcome of the squabble was insignficant but Sir Arkane was brilliant in lambasting the moron. I love the choice of his words, the way he conveyed his disgust and his wicked sarcasm and I actually saved the masterpiece. So to Sir Arkane, wherever/whoever you are......this is my tribute.

I'm not in the habit to be uncivil in a forum but for genetical garbage like you, I'll make an exception.

First of all, you are vulgar little maggot who goes around the forum like a laxative, irritating the sh*t out of people. I use the word "little" as an overstatement because frankly I find you vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. your mentality seems more primitive than that of a retard.

Your monumental stupidity seems to forbid you to grasp the purpose of a forum, because you do not seem to be interested in discussion, rather you take delight in demonstrating your lack of manners and culture. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced rantings to have with all of us here ? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous, rabid desert rat ?

People have been telling you to b*gger off, but you don't seem to get the concept. You are a sore that won't go away, an infectious disease which people loathe. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are dank and filthy. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You have the personality of wallpaper and the appeal of a paper cut. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will be able to move up a rung on the evolutionary ladder. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles within your disabled self that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

A Valentine Memory

2005-02-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

Dear DK,

How long has it been? 2 years....or is it 3 years? I can't remember. As always, I tend to push away sad thoughts and memories and bury them in the deepest part of my being. If we were still together, what will we be doing today? Will we be having an intimate dinner like we used to and later adjourn to either Ulu Langat reservoir or Cheras hilltop, laying on the soft grass, watching the stars with your hands wrapped around mine, neither of us speaking cos words are just unnecessary? Or will we be at Ju's place, playing another round of Truth Or Dare, enjoying ourselves silly and toasting one another?

It's true when they say "you won't know what you've got until you've lost it". You were right when you said that I'm great as a friend but not as a girlfriend. I lacked passion, was undemonstrative in my affections for you and worst of all, I kept most thoughts and emotions to myself. You tried many ways to get me to open up........you asked me directly many times but I built my walls around, thinking that I was able to face and settle my problems myself. I failed to see that a relationship is all about sharing and caring, a bond between two people that strengthens everytime an obstacle is overcome.

I remember when I wanted to buy you a platinum ring, you protested saying it was expensive. But I bought for you anyway and I can still remember your smile when you put it on. I remember too you like sunflowers but I've never bought you any.........not even for your birthday, anniversary or valentine day. But I bought you flowers when we were breaking up. Ironic, isn't it? But it was already too late. Some things are not meant to be. I'm sorry to have let you down and hurt you badly. Believe me if I have to powers to turn back the clock things will be much rosier and we'd be celebrating today.

With that, here's wishing you a happy Valentine's Day with your loved one.

Warmest regards,
kc.

What? CNY is over??

2005-02-13T18:43:00.000-08:00

Damn CNY holidays came and went in a blink of an eye and here I am again stuck in the office feeling groggy and lethargic. Can't help it really, cos I haven't fulfill my sleep deficit. Been staying up late late till wee hours of the morning and waking up early. Look I'm not a morning person ok.....so if you insist on pushing me off the bed before the standard 10am don't be surprised if I suddenly develop a severe speech disability and take on an appearance of a zombie. My cousins are nuts! It baffles me how they can be so freaking chirpy and energetic at 7am! I bet my aunts must have fed them Energizer batteries when they were kids......either that or I'm adopted.

Didn't do much during the festival. Basically just hung around with relatives and of course, the compulsory gambling sessions. Damn me and my big mouth again! Bragged to friends before CNY that I'd gather the neighbourhood kids and skinned them off their angpow money ala God of Gambler style. After a marathon session of three cards and blackjack, instead of being couple hundreds richer, my ass got whipped real bad......by some bratty 12 year old kids! Bloody malu-fying!! How could I, the self proclaimed Queen of Con get iced and whalloped so easily??? Must be the weather these days. It's been fucking hot and humid thus affecting my judgement and ability to think clearly on which cards to dispose or draw, calculate the winning possibilities, increase/decrease betting value etc......yeah has to be that reason.

Went gaga over a girl during Friday breakfast. It was a family owned restaurant in the town. The place was packed and as we managed to squeeze in for a table, I saw her. She looked 20-ish, about 5ft 4, her hair tied in a bun and she looked flustered and tired while tending to the orders. She doesn't have the conventional beauty but she's attractive in her own way.......she's cute.

Was looking forward to a relaxing fun day at the beach but the trip was cancelled due to....er..... some unforeseen circumtances. A teeny weeny disappointment but made up by doing what I haven't been doing for ages........exploring! Just found out that there is a forest reserve in Papan with a small stream and I finally got to visit the Kellie's Castle. So all is not lost! To SW if you happen to read this, you owe us big time for bailing out on us last minute. We have yet to decide what we'd like to do to you but we'll inform you in due time. Stay tuned.

Let's get one thing straight....I'm not.

2005-02-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

Do I look like I belong to the majority girly, feminine, demure SYT around? Absofuckinglutely not! I'm as dyke-y as one can get and with a single look people usually know that I swing the OTHER way. I keep my hair short, wear boots to work, shirt and pants and by the end of the day, I'm covered with grease and dust from head to toe..........so pray tell........which part of me look remotely feminine??? Hell even a construction worker look smart standing next to me. So it always stumps me when some moron failed to see the obvious and used the lamest of the lame pick-up lines on me. My response? Rolled my eyes and suddenly turned deaf.

This usually works but one of these days when I'm in an ultra devious mood I might just suggest a double date. Him bringing his sister while I scour the town for a massive six-footer gay man for the occasion. We'd start the night off with a grand sumptuous dinner during which I, of course, will be my best charming self and concentrate fully on his cute sister. Meanwhile the sexually deprived six-footer would be drooling, over him......not the menu, and making endless passes at the poor chap.

After dinner we'd proceed to a popular gay nite spot and no sooner as we walked in, I'd sneak off with his sister for a better..........erm......ice breaking session, leaving the idiot at the mercy of a roomful of gay men. And being the thoughtful person that I am, I'd slip him a block of butter before doing my Houdini stunt. Oh I'm sure he'd enjoy the attention.

A perfect ending and everyone lives happily ever after. Heh.

Welcome to my life - Simple Plan

2005-02-07T22:05:00.000-08:00

First post of the year. And I have no absolutely any clue as what to write about. Should my blog be a social commentary? Or a corner for me to bitch about all and sundry? My personal hiding place when I'm depressed? A medium for promoting self praise? Politics? Rants? Gossips? Oh well......I don't think I'll stick to any theme. I'll just write whatever pops up my head and at this rate I'm going, it's gonna be an emotional roller coaster ride. Full of ups and downs and just as I've calmed down and heaved a sigh of relief, I'm heading towards another monstrous dip. By the end of the day, I feel like puking, my knees are shaking and my face turn into a darker shade of green. But I walk away with a smile on my face cos I've just had the ride of my life and I can hold my head up high........I've survived........been there, done that.

Now if only I can find a way to secure the safety belt and don my helmet........