as it is.....

I'm updating my blog due to request from a friend.



UPDATED.



So, there you go...........heh.

There are 2 types of dreamers. One who remembers his/her dreams vividly and another who is unaware of his/her brain activities as soon as they wake up. I belong to the latter category. But lately, I've been having a few weird dreams. Now don't get me wrong. I DO dream a lot. It's just that they are mostly insignificant and most of the time I can never remember what I dream about and no matter how hard I try to commit those dreams to memory, they usually disappear by mid day and I would have no absolute inkling to what happened when I was in dreamland.

But for the past week, I've had a few dreams which I could surprisingly remember. The images were clear and filled with a mirage of emotions so strong that when I woke up from slumber I could still feel the remnants of whichever instense feelings I was having during my sleep. Some of which I've never felt before and there are a few I keep hidden most of the time.

The first dream was about me going for dinner with a primary school mate who has migrated to God-knows-where during Standard Six. In my dream, she look exactly the same, except only perhaps in an adult version. I even remembered her full name..... which of course by itself an amazing thing cos I can't even remember most of my secondary or university mates' names. At the dinner we met up with my ex and her girlfriend. Now this is where the puzzling part comes in. I was spiteful and acted childishly. You know...... the kiddies trick we used to play when we meet a friend and offer our hand for a shake, and as the friend lift up her hand to hold our extended palm we purposely snuff her by pulling our hands away and pretending to do something else? Yeah I did exactly that to my ex's girlfriend. And throughout the whole dinner I wasn't exactly very courteous and friendly to her either. To those experts who say that dreams are manifestation of our unconscious state of mind....I'll say bullshit. First off, I've gotten over my ex already and what she does or who she goes out with does not matter to me anymore. Second, our parting had nothing to do with a third party in fact the break up was totally my fault. Lastly, I am NOT so childish. It's beneath my dignity to even consider acting in such a bitchy manner. One thing I had to comment though was my ex's girlfriend in my dream was a femme. Well I've never seen her current girlfriend before but I'm sure she's definitely not a femme. An andro or a butch maybe. As strong and independant as she may be, I still think that a butch suits her best.

Dream number two was about my work in my current company. I just had my confirmation last month after six months of probation period. In my dream, my current boss did not confirm me and wanted to review my work for another month and this triggered an avalanche of intense feeling. I felt extremely frustrated, angry and shortchanged cos I've worked very hard those six months and felt that my performance was good enough to be confirmed. My pride was shattered and I vowed to resign at the end of the week. Told all my colleagues and workers of my resignation. I don't know what happened next cos my alarm rang at that very moment and I ended up with a foul mood that day. I was practically pissed with everybody especially the management and it took some effort to mask those anger. I know it was only a dream but those emotions were very real and intense and spilled over when I woke up.

Last dream happened two days ago. Can't really recall what it was all about but I could remember bits and pieces. It was about my ex......again. This time there were only both of us. We were talking on the phone and I was exceptionally cruel and malicious. I can't remember what I've said but all I know is that it was very mean and hurtful and she was quiet after that. Then the darn alarm rang again. Stupid alarm.

In the first and final dreams, I became a totally different person and did things I'd never ever think of doing. It's like a jekyl-and-hyde thingy and the me in my dreams are exactly the type of people that I detest. Though the relationship was over and yes like I said earlier I've gotten over it, she had been a part of my life for a certain period of time and she understood me well. To hurt her would be the last thing I'd ever do.

Damn.

I'm hopelessly addicted to sudoku right now.

Damn.

Dear God,

Please grant me :

the courage to change the things I can

the serenity to accept the things I can't change

and the wisdom to know the difference.

All resolutions must be fulfilled. Please cross item when done.


1. Start aerobics class again. Go ahead go tone up those small little muscles again.

2. Quit worrying yourself over :
i) Things that are not happening cos well…….they are just not happening no matter how you worry.
ii) Things that had happened cos it’s too late to run back the clock so just let the battle scars be a reminder for us to be wiser.
iii) Things which may happen in future cos heck, we’re not GOD…..we don’t even know if we’d live to see tomorrow. So enjoy the present and don’t worry too much over things which are uncertain and beyond control.

3. Smoke less. Smoking affects your sexual life. So there…….I think this point is enough for you to sit up and take notice.

4. Don’t be afraid to take the first step to achieving you dreams. I don’t mean to say that you should enroll immediately…..just gradually prepare yourself for the journey and plunge in when you’re ready. Don’t just give up without a fight. You are meant for better things. I totally believe in that.

5. Learn to explore your emotions. Instead of bottling them up, learn to share your ups and down, your happiness or sadness and most importantly your feelings with people you care about. Don’t build barriers around. I know sometimes it’s difficult to open up cos by doing so we’ll expose our vulnerabilities thus making it easier for us to get hurt. But by shutting or withholding ourselves, we end up hurting our loved ones more.

6. Keeping in touch doesn’t mean waiting for other people to make the first move. Give a call to an old friend once a while. Put a smile on their faces, let them know you still care and think about them.

7. Women with curves are attractive. The anorexic, skeletal Kate Moss-look is so out of trend already. So don’t fret too much about your chicken legs. And don’t you dare to go bulimic on me ok!

8. Put aside a portion of your pay in savings. You’d feel more comfortable and confident if there are some healthy balance in your savings account.

9. Learn to sleep on a pillow. Pillows are invented as a support for our necks and shoulders during our 8-hour sleep to prevent achings or sprained neck muscle. You’re not exactly a spring chicken anymore, you know.

10. Get the writer of this blog a gift every month as a token of appreciation. You’re welcome.

We checked out around 11am and started our journey to Negeri Sembilan for the ostrich farm. Found it without much hassle and bought a small container of dried seeds for feeding at the entrance. Let me tell you one fact. Ostrichs are HUGE! Especially when they move and glide towards you it's like being in a 3-D cinema...........it's rather disconcerting too when it stretches its long neck at you with a huge opened beak. But other visitors didn't seem the least perturbed. Oh well, I guess I'm a cowrad after all. Heh. The farm offers ostrich rides but it's only for people weighing 75kg and below. I tried persuading the princess to try the ride out but she flatly refused. I think she must have been overweight.

After being directed a few times by samatarians, we finally arrived at the Baba House. It was strategically located behind Jonker Street and within walking distance to popular tourist spots such as the A Famosa, St. Paul Church, etc. Baba House is a quaint charming place. I kinda liked the way they perserve the original peranakan structure, deco and heritage within the building with minimal renovation.

We dropped our bags at the reception and took a trishaw to A Famosa. Well, it was the first trip to Malacca for the princess so she was probably eager to visit the famed A Famosa, much touted as a must visit destination in vacation brochures. Upon alighting from the trishaw, she stared at the monument for a good minute and exclaimed, " You mean to bring me all the way here just to see this rock??" Man, that was classic! Initially I was thinking of showing her the St. Paul Church at the top of the hill but quickly squashed the idea. Imagine if I were to drag her up the steep stairs just to present to her another piece of rock.......I don't think I'd still be alive today writing this blog. She'd probably skin me alive before throwing me down the hill.

We didn't spend much time there cos I've been there a couple of times and the princess wasn't interested in old buildings so we decided to return to hotel to freshen up. The usual mode of transport for visitors and tourist alike are the trishaws. In Malacca, the trishaws are heavily decorated and adorned with colourful flowers and signages and they exude a certain carnival-like vibrance to the atmosphere. Of all the trishaws, my friend, playing the role of a princess to the max, chose the brightest, loudest, most colourful and decorated trishaw for the return journey. So there I was, squirming in my seat everytime the rider blasted his horn and everybody turned, stared and giggled at us. Nearly died of embarrassment. She seemed to be enjoying the attention though. Sigh....that's what you get when you have an exhibitionist as a travelling companion.

To be continued.....

What do you get when you walk into a vacant house?...emptiness

You find a wooden box. It's light and doesn't rattle when you shake it. It's probably......empty

For an optimist, the glass is half full but for a pessimist, the glass is half....empty

If a person never keeps his words, his promises are....empty

What do you call a land which is devoid of vegetation, contruction or human dwelling?...empty

Yeah......that's right. EMPTY.

Welcome to 2006.